Written by Paul J Bucknell on August, 27, 2024

The Faith Finder: Can I, even if I am a former churchgoer, return to God?

Can I, even if I am a former churchgoer, return to God?

Several generations of former churchgoers, including my generation, no longer attend church. Spiritual matters have taken a backseat. This often happens in affluent societies. Your Christian parents might have brought you to Sunday School or sent you to a church camp, but you no longer frequent a church. However, this doesn’t mean faith is a settled issue, with lots of nagging thoughts popping to mind, like, “Am I a believer?” “Will I go to heaven?”

Many still identify as Christians but are unclear about their affiliation. You know you are not Islamic or Buddhist, but your affiliation with Christianity is tenuous. I hope to clarify some issues that might rekindle your faith. 

You know others who have left the faith, but you haven't. You're unsure about the status of your faith and hope that everything is alright, but life has made it difficult for you to focus on your spiritual beliefs. You may not even know how to look inwardly.

Lingering doubts are a good sign. They mean that you have some spiritual concerns. However, these concerns are currently suppressed and not as sensitive as they once were. External circumstances and difficult decisions might further threaten your spiritual sensitivity. 

I want to identify four specific groups.

• The Offended

Horrible church experiences turned off many former churchgoers. Faith has taken a backseat to bitterness. Some have been betrayed, while others have suffered abuse. The church seemed like a boat that took on too much water, looking nothing like our kind Shepherd, Jesus Christ, who cares for our souls.

• The Tricked

Others believe some Bible verse excludes them from hope in Christ. For example, individuals, often believing they have committed an unpardonable sin, have asked me about blaspheming against the Holy Spirit. But that offense could only have happened during Jesus’ time.  Others are convinced they belong to that “it is impossible to renew them again to repentance” group, who can never return, as spoken in Hebrews 6:4-9. In neither case is the interpretation clear, even for those familiar with the Scriptures. The devil hounds these believers until they collapse in disbelief. However, they subject themselves to their inaccurate interpretation and lack but want hope.

• The Confused

Many call themselves Christians but confuse faith with allegiance to the church rather than the Savior. They confuse the saved from the Savior! False confidence misleads many.

• The Guilty

Guilt has worn down others. These are convinced their bad choice(s) disqualify them from full church status, concluding they can’t show their face in church. They primarily focus on their guilt from past sins. While they are correct in sins’ just condemnation, they never reach the point that allows God’s abounding mercy in the Gospel to shine His love through Jesus for their guilt. Satan condemns, but Jesus saves.

Many former churchgoers have unnecessarily distanced themselves from God and His people. It’s time for them to think of themselves as Seekers.

Seekers

The Gospel calls all to follow Christ for salvation. Those with a little faith are called to enlarge their faith and pursue Christ. The broad Gospel call swallows up the many ways we are hesitant to follow Jesus.

I thought of the familiar Christmas scene with the magi from the East seeking Christ by the star's light. The light directs us, but sometimes, we aren’t as diligent and dismiss its importance in bringing us to Jesus Christ.

But still, that light shines, beckoning us while we still live. God’s light leads us to truth, to Jesus Christ Himself, where God’s love is manifested.

“⁹ By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. ¹⁰ In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins” (1 John 4:9-10).

You are seekers if you have spiritual concern for your sins or hope that you will one day go to heaven—even if you aren’t actively seeking. They differt from those who no longer think about spiritual matters. True, they can get caught up in one or more of Satan’s deluding schemes, but some spiritual matters, eternal life, and dangers of hellfire do occasionally concern them. I want to help these individuals to navigate through confusing faith issues.

You might think that seeker does not describe you. That’s fine, but it might describe you more than you think. Sometimes, our circumstances have overwhelmed us—with raising a family, working hard, or just catching up in some activity—that we haven’t found time and quietness to examine our faith. Many haven’t found a chance to talk about these issues. (You can always write me.)

God Seeks the Seeker

Jesus is looking for His lost sheep; this truth colors our lives. He spends more time searching for the lost sheep than accompanying the secure sheep. 

“What man among you, if he has a hundred sheep and has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open pasture and go after the one which is lost until he finds it?” (Luke 15:4)

The word “lost” may describe you as confused, troubled, bitter, unable, sickly, or just caught up in the world’s affairs. He seeks to befriend the people on the fringe. Our hope is born by the loving Shepherd’s persistent quest to search us out. Isn’t that the point? Jesus comes seeking the lost, broken-hearted, and wounded to bring the needed help.

“It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners” (Mark 2:17).

Are you still feeling hopeless? Do you remember when Jesus was betrayed and sacrificed His life on the cross for people's forgiveness? The disciples didn't do what Jesus told them, to watch and pray. As a result, they all became fearful, confused, and fell away. Peter denied Jesus three times. However, if we carefully examine the end of John, we can see Jesus’ compassionate attitude toward the disciples. Despite their failures, he had faith and hope for them. Jesus not only seeks the lost but is also very patient with them.

“Then the wayward in spirit will come to understanding, and those who grumble will accept instruction” (Isaiah 29:24 Berean Standard Bible).

Please be sure that some will be lost, like Judas Iscariot, who betrayed Jesus, or many others who only scoffed at Jesus. But this is not us. We are all lost in our sins but seek hope for our lives. We can find that mercy in Jesus Christ, the world's true light.

It’s true that you might not be inclined to follow Christ—you don’t have that commitment. But if you have read so far, I’m guessing you have some deep, though unidentifiable, interest. At one point, Jesus explained, “For he who is not against us is for us” (Mark 9:40). His point is to shake the indecisive or shy into followers or unbelievers. He wants the doubters to realize that coming to faith is a process. There are far more seekers than we think. Are you one?

Many, like Nicodemus, wanted to know more about Jesus but came to Him at night to inquire (John 3:2). Maybe being rich and famous created other concerns for his life, but later in John, we find that it’s he who brings the expensive spices for his burial (John 19:39). It takes time to process our faith. Jesus wants us to be clear about our faith and, therefore, puts decisive statements and questions before us, but it’s a process. 

Our Spiritual Interests

We often don’t pay attention to our inner faith and have no clue how to begin. Significant changes start before we perceive them. Birth is like that. Our eyes open after birth. Hopefully, something written here will help you understand more about your interest in Jesus Christ.

The Apostle Paul challenged churchgoers, “Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves!” (2 Cor 13:5). Some might have got caught up in life circumstances. Now it’s 20 to 50 years later! You are much older. Maybe as things slow down, you find what you thought would fulfill you, but it doesn’t. Or, you never reached your worldly ambitions, maybe being rather upset with circumstances—and even yourself. 

But it’s not where we have been or are in our spiritual lives or who we are, but where we want to go. If you can clarify your need for forgiveness, be changed, and be helped by the one and only Savior Jesus Christ, you can fully trust Him to take you to be where you need to be. He specializes in showing people the pathway to follow Him. It’s critical, however, that you clarify your faith and take the steps He highlights. If we don’t follow, we reject the light we have and will be lost forever.

I remember one summer when, as a young Christian, I stopped going to church. Instead, I shot baskets and did other things that I liked. I hadn’t stopped believing in Jesus, but you could say I stopped following Him. I shriveled up inside, not realizing what was happening to me. I didn’t know how bad my situation was until I started back with God’s people.

Let me identify a few situations you might need to work through to clarify your faith.

A Confusing Faith

Part of this problem rests in the church. Teachers are generally well-meaning but only sometimes clear. Sometimes, they misstate truths. Hoping to persuade, they tell you that making a prayer or raising your hand saves you. These things do not save you, but what goes on behind the scenes—your spiritual faith in Jesus Christ, which gives eternal life.

I can’t remember what made me leave Him when young. Was it a lack of routine during the summer? Whatever, I began going back and reading the Bible and being with God’s people. I’m so glad I did, though neither can I remember what brought me back to Him. I knew in my heart that I belonged to God through my faith in Jesus. I am very thankful for God’s patience with me and all because He’s calling all people to Himself. He warns us, “For this reason we must pay much closer attention to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away from it” (Heb 2:1). “Closer attention” is what we need. 

Follow the Light You Have

Consider your conscience like a faraway lighthouse. It’s easy to avoid, but if we pay attention to its glimmering light, we gain some sense of focus. That light is not enough to know or follow Jesus. Still, it leads closer to full faith in Him. We must pay “much closer attention to what we have heard.” Increased attention to spiritual matters and the Word of God lead us to Christ. That little light brightens as we approach its source, where we will soon find Christ, faith for forgiveness, a willingness to follow, and eternal life. 

You must notice and respond to the light. If you pay attention to spiritual matters, are aware of sin, and are conscious of a coming judgment, it will draw you closer. Maybe you didn’t last year, but now, after some incident, you do. God uses surprising situations to get our attention. Pay attention to how He might get your attention further. Simultaneously, guard against getting overwhelmed with life’s circumstances so that you forget your pursuit. Also, start reading the New Testament, such as the Gospel of John. There is an ongoing battle between the forces of light and darkness. Here are some things you could say to God.

• “Why am I so confused about my spiritual life?”
• “Why am I so hesitant to love You who loves me so?”
• “Do you welcome me with all my mistakes and mess-ups?”
• “In what ways have I let you down?”

All these questions bring us closer to God. They aren’t magic prayers like incantations. Not at all. Let me explain.

When we pay attention to issues related to our lives with God, He responds. Your earnest questions reflect a growing faith. You are conscious of God; your questions are mini prayers that take you a step closer to God in faith. “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you” (Jam 4:8).

But you might wonder why I said before that prayers don’t save you. Right, neither do these. However, genuine prayers reflect our inner faith. These prayers do not indicate authentic faith in Christ; they don’t save you but increase your conscious need for Him. Jesus’ name, however, means Savior. He comes to save and rescue.

So, what happens when God draws near? What happens next? God draws closer to you, which means you are closer to Him. Being closer gives you more confidence that He genuinely cares for you and is paying attention to you as a person. At the same time, you are growing in your awareness that He exists as a person—not just some immense power out there. When He comes closer, we also become more conscious of our sins. God is holy, so when He comes near, we become more aware of our poor attitudes toward God, foul language, selfishness, meanness toward others, etc. These experiences reinforce your conscious need for a Savior.

You may wonder what to do if such things happen. The question is good, but it all sorts out. Spiritual birth is just like natural birth in this way; it just works. God is a fantastic teacher and uses His Holy Spirit to lead His lost sheep to Himself. He shows us what we need to confess and repent from our sins. At the same time, He completely forgives us through our faith in Christ. He exposes the wound; we seek help, and He heals.

“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.” (James 4:8).

A Look Back and Forward

Maybe I should add one more thought before proceeding. I’ve been a Christian for more than 50 years. I can attest that whoever follows him will be blessed. We have made bad decisions and perhaps even now suffer the consequences of those decisions. Maybe because you smoked, you have cancer and are dying. Others suffer from broken families and troubled relationships. 

You acquire a deeper, more accurate understanding of yourself when God gives you a glimpse of who you are. This is you, a sinner, falling far short of God’s standard. Society tells us that we are what we feel. That is a modern lie. Satan forms a cloud of confusion to make you think your desires identify you. Evil desires, however, mislead. Please don’t follow them. Meanwhile, God reveals a genuine look at yourself, leading you to realize your selfishness. This is what happens when God draws near.

If we aren’t conscious of God’s work through this, we will take cover and avoid such thoughts. This process happens quickly for some, like when God saved me—all in one afternoon. But for others, it takes a while. Welcome God’s work in you wherever you discover it.

If you have a past Christian heritage, different Bible verses will also come to your mind. Get back into the Word of God. If God is so gracious to reach out to you, get honest with the God of your youth. As “we draw near; He draws near” gives us repeated opportunities to deepen this personal relationship with God. Please don’t put it off. And seek a community of God’s people that love God’s Word. They want to hear from Him and obey Him.

Following Jesus

Follow His promptings; they will never lead you astray as our feelings do. He seeks to develop a solid relationship, a friendship with you. The convictions often note areas to be dealt with; otherwise, they will interfere with your developing relationship with God. Your sins are fully covered when you “by grace” and “through faith” are saved in Jesus Christ. The apostle points this out in Ephesians 2:8. 

“⁸ For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; ⁹ not as a result of works, so that no one may boast” (Eph 2:8-9).

Let me explain. Each of these phrases addresses our concerns.

“By grace” points to our unworthiness. When God draws near, we see our inferiority and guilt. We do not deserve this opportunity to approach God. Never forget this lesson. It’s still true—God reached out to us while we were sinners (Rom 5:1).

“Through faith” shows us that it is not through our supposed good works we come to God or the number of times we go to church. We are incomplete. That is what the Holy Spirit’s conviction does for us. This is why verses 8-9 continue: “It is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast” (Eph 2:8-9).

You might say, “Hey, I asked those questions and didn’t hear from God.” That’s fine. Seek Him in faith. God works uniquely with us. Be careful not to be rude to God, but do be persistent! Continue seeking Him and narrow down your concerns. The key is to make them your genuine questions or reflections. He often wants to reveal different things about you during these delays.

• “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I’ve been so selfish.” (Use words that are true of yourself.)
• “I don’t think I’m too bad. I need you to get closer.” 
• “I need Jesus to forgive my sin. Will you forgive me Lord?”
• “I’m not that bad.” (But you are a lost sinner!)

It’s hard to identify all the ins and outs of our thoughts and God’s holy and saving work, but when we look back, we discover He led the way. Persevere. You might be an adulteress, drunkard, porn addict, abuser, or abused, etc., but with Jesus, you are at the departure station. You are getting on a train and never returning. Don’t fear conviction because He leads you to Himself and forgiveness. 

Faith is the confidence that He will care for all your guilt through Jesus’ death on the cross and guide you onward into a deeper faith (Phil 1:6). He died to save you and lives to help you. You might have done this before, but it’s okay to return to this moment of seeking His complete forgiveness.

No matter where you are, there’s always room for repentance. God’s mercy is so deep and penetrating it can bring forgiveness and a new heart. What light do you still see? Follow it until you have found Jesus Christ, “The Way, and the Truth, and the Life” (John 14:6).

“Those who err in mind will know the truth, And those who criticize will accept instruction.” (Isaiah 29:24)

“On that day the deaf will hear words of a book, and out of their gloom and darkness the eyes of the blind will see. The afflicted also will increase their gladness in the LORD, and the needy of mankind will rejoice in the Holy One of Israel.” (Isaiah 29:18-19)

Thoughts for Reflection

1. What light has God shown you through different times in your life?
2. How have you responded to Him and His light?
3. In what ways have you turned aside from His light?
4. Do you sense Him seeking you now?
5. Can you make the genuine questions above? If not, why?
6. Identify what light He is now showing you and respond to it positively. Follow up with some earnest, authentic words, “I feel so far off, but I want to be near You.” Make them your own words.