Written by Paul J. Bucknell on May, 29, 2020
Love Your Wife! Married 42 years! (Eph 5:25)
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).
Married Forty-Two Years (May 20, 2020)
Linda and I are celebrating our 42nd anniversary, smack middle of the Covid-19 shutdown! Sure, the containment period has progressed to the yellow phase. True, we could have bought a takeout meal at a restaurant and eaten somewhere, but with the weather not being very inviting, that thought quickly went to the side. So, we pushed our celebration to another time—hopefully not to another year!
But guess what I discovered that day! As I was scanning old paper files, I found someone who spoke on “Nine Things a Woman Needs from a Man.” How fun! My notes were from back in the late 1970s.
Paul told husbands to love their wives. There is no doubt about this obligation—no matter how our wives might seem undeserving of it (think of Hosea). The Apostle Paul repeatedly admonished husbands to “love your wives” (Eph 5:25,28,33). I like how the speaker—I couldn’t fully read his name on my notes—expressed the practical display of this husband-initiated love.
So I quickly went through the list, discussing some of the most prominent ones with my wife. They are—for the most part—well understood and appreciated. This is not true for some marriages. For them, the list might seem alien to their marriage. It’s not where they are at. So whether this is a new lesson for some men or serves as a review (like for me), let us better process each item.
The Husbands’ Love List
Here’s your assignment. Define or otherwise clarity each of the nine items below. Describe how you express your love for your wife in this way.
- Give her love
- Affirmation of purpose
- So how did you do?
- Do you know what each means?
- Do you know why each is important? (Discuss this with your wife!)
- Which ones do you find yourself fulfilling or neglecting?
The list is not mine but a speaker at the Bible college that I attended. But that is irrelevant.
- Do you find any critical items missing?
- Or do you find some items not very relevant in your marriage?
- Why are they not thought essential in your marriage?
- Why are they important for others, or at least important enough for the speaker to mention?
I think if I had to add any items, it would be the singularity of devotion. With the spread of pornography and widespread sensuality, it is crucial husbands are more open with where their eyes and minds are. We need accountability—as hard as it is. The standard is not to lust (i.e., commit adultery) for another woman. No adultery is okay. The real goal is to cherish one’s wife.
For further study:
- Can you say, as I say to my wife, “I love you only?”
- Can you say you don’t get involved in viewing and thinking about others? With the spread of homosexuality, “others” need to include anyone else upon whom you might set your affection.
- Are there any other items you would include? Explain why.
Striving for Moral Purity seminar in Digital Library 2.
Building a Great Marriage: Finding Faith, Forgiveness and Friendship by Paul and Linda Bucknell.